feeling incredibly prolific, i decided to continue my regularly scheduled tirade here.
(sorry chaps)

things are definitely in limbo. for the first time in my young life, everything could go wrong (and it just might.) this is the most estranged i have ever felt in my entire life. every time i try to explain my intentions to the many questioners, it all comes out in a jumble and smacks down in a nasty pile on the ground, spilling it's ineffectiveness all over my tennis shoes.

more wasted effort.

i keep finding myself a disappointment to everyone. there are all these unspoken expectations that people have (they assume i will succeed), and the pressure i am trying to slough off. i am not doing anything because i need a break. yes, i need a break from all of the assumptions.

there are so many things i would love to do, but there isn't anyone out there who i feel knows me well enough to do them with me (with the occasional exception, and i think it's unfair to name names in this case). everyone is so busy being melodramatic (i know, this is really melodramatic, but the internet is the only way you can get people to listen to you without interruption).

i looked out the window to see the moon, and the man in the apartment across the street was staring in at me. i feel slightly startled. i'm sure he was equally surprised to see such a young, curious face staring his way too. what an experience. maybe he'd make a good friend.